It all started with my 5-year-old. From the time he was born, he has been in constant motion and fought off sleeping. He also is a free spirit who has difficulty doing any activities requiring him to sit, except for puzzles, video games and occasionally a book. He never looks at the words in books. I’ve not wanted to push him but have recited the ABC’s and started making puh, puh sounds when pointing out the letter p without any signs of him showing letter-sound recognition. He totally disregards the rules at home and physically acts out against his parents and brother.
Well, from the time he started day care and preschool, I’ve heard nothing but great reports about him. The teachers tell me that he meticulously goes from station to station of numbers, letters and reading. He follows the rules and enforces the rules with the other children. He is sought after by the other children for conflict resolution. He is a bit of a perfectionist. He can do sight-reading and is estimated to be reading at the level of a late kindergartener and writes some words. At home, I’m struggling to make him recognize the letter p and what it sounds like. He respects the teachers and the other children.
So basically, I have no control at home. He plays me all day long and never shows his hand. When I relay to him what the teachers told me, he gives a small smile and then ignores me. He still will not read for me. He still runs around the house at high speeds most of the day. He still hits and kicks at home. Oh, and his teachers were shocked to hear about his behavior at home. He is going to continue to play us for the rest of his life. My wife and I will never know who he truly is and what he’s really up to.
The 3-year-old is our quiet instigator. He always teases his older brother to get him into trouble. He scales furniture and jumps off, just quietly. When we ask him to do something new, he usually stares at us and becomes inert without speaking.
When he started daycare last month, he had no period of transition. He jumped right in with the other kids and acted like he had been going there for years. He does not tease. He does not get into trouble. Maybe they just have not caught him in the act yet.
Both children go by the philosophy of what happens at school, stays at school. When asked what they did at school today, they either ignore us or tell us a one sentence answer.
Who are these children? Why can’t they be themselves at home? What are we doing wrong? Maybe we are doing something right since they can perform at daycare and preschool.
Dr. Dad 